Confusion

Have you ever had a feeling you just can't shake? Like a week ago I thought I was happy with the way my life is going but now I can't help but feel completely empty. It's not that broken hearted, can't eat, can't sleep kind of emptiness... Just discontent with no knowledge of how to change it.
As always, I thought I had everything planned out; it was all straight in my mind. I mean who wouldn't want to be completely unattached to anything in their life, no true obligations other than working four days a week... but that's obviously not how I was built to function. I can't keep going on unattached to the things in my life. I'm not by any means unhappy, just fed up with the numbness that has become my only emotion.
I feel like I'm sitting here watching my life pass me by. Or maybe it was better put by my friend who said "it's like watching the world without my contacts." It's like I can see everything happening but it's in a big blur, nothing is solid or clear. I want more than this, and I'm not sure what that entails. I'm at this point where I want to cut ties with all of the dead ends that I continue to run into and just want to turn around and find a street that will actually lead me to something better. I miss being genuinely happy and actually smiling with purpose rather than just to make people happy.
I look back at the pictures from this past summer and see that I can be genuinely happy. Now I just need to find a way back to it.
... I don't have a plan but I do believe that you shouldn't complain unless you have a way to make things better. I will do SOMETHING about this... but I have no idea what. I guess I just need to be patient and wait to find out what's in store for me.
I just wish I wasn't so impatient for change.

As Always...

As I predicted I neglected my blog for far too long and the sad part is that I have no idea what to write.
... Maybe exhaustion? Maybe taking on too much at one time? That sounds all too negative.
But in all honesty that's why I haven't written in a while and I can't say that I'm sorry because I love every minute of my busy, crazy life. It's better than being bored, sitting in a dorm room like the lazy oaf I used to be.
Seriously, could life get any better than doing well in school and having WAY TOO MUCH FUN at work? I mean... I'm sure it could ... but still. Not too many people can say that. I go to school for all of 3 hours a day and go to work and meet the most interesting people every night.
I wish everyone could love their work. I grew up listening to my parents complain about their careers and I remember thinking "I never want to grow up and get a job." I think I've been extremely blessed with amazing jobs and amazing co-workers.
... Now if only I could stop being so tired, I'd have it made!